Real Estate is often an emotional purchase that usually leads to at least one of the parties to reflexively resort to personal attacks during the negotiation phase. The same is true when you are working with a borrower who is delinquent on their mortgage payments or a tenant that is struggling financially. Most people will equate the person on the other side of the table as a greedy demon rather than a person that is going through a stressful process that they have little experience in dealing with.
A seasoned negotiator will recognize that there is a difference between the problem at hand and the person on the other side of the table. A person that is selling a home usually has an emotional attachment to the property. The might have raised their children in the home and, therefore, place a higher value on the property than the buyer. In order to overcome this issue, the good negotiator must recognize that the problem is different than the person and they must keep emotions in check while being sensitive that the other party is having strong emotions that might lead them to attack the other party on a personal level.
Rather than telling a delinquent tenant or borrower that if they don’t pay up you will throw them out of the house, understand their motivations and ask them what they think the solution should be. You certainly don’t want to allow the other party to take advantage of you, but digging your heals in will do nothing but alienate the other party and cause them to do the same. If you are able to calmly and patiently probe with open-ended questions to determine what truly motivates them, you will be better equipped to come up with a solution that benefits all parties. Understand how you truly see the problem and what the other parties sees as the problem and calmly work toward a solution that makes sense without being taken advantage of.